These days, it’s not uncommon to hear people say, “When I’m gone, just toss me in a box and cremate me. I won’t be around to care, anyway.”
But who exactly is a funeral for?
Is it for the person who has died? Well no one knows for certain what happens when we die, who knows if they know what happened at their funeral or not?
Is it for the family? This one to me is a much more plausible argument, bringing everyone together to remember and support each other during tough times seems like a pretty good reason for a gathering, right? Experts in dealing with the long term affects of grief agree.
Or is it for both? Again, this is determined solely by your belief system. Scientific minds will often say “when you are dead, you are dead, there is no afterlife, so it can’t be for both”.
Again there is no right or wrong here.
I read this once “The reality is no one knows what happens when we die. Great philosophers, religious leaders and learned people have speculated, but we simply don’t know. What we can do is hope.” That’s why people who have a great belief call it faith. Whether that faith is in God, Buddha, Allah, the Universe or whatever, it doesn’t matter, it is a very personal thing and each person will have their own particular belief.
Funerals are about healing and remembering. They give us a chance to lean on each other and share memories. What those who work in supporting the bereaved have found though, is that while the specifics of what comes after might be a mystery, one thing’s for sure: funerals are more than just ceremonies – they’re a reminder that even in our darkest moments, we’re not alone.